i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
