dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
