turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize