that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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