somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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