it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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