Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
