Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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