I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
