I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
