i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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