I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize