piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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