I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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