i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
