He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
