in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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