Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
