The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
