The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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