He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
