Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
