Your dad touched me again.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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