Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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