goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
