I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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