I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize