We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
