Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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