before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When are your genitals available?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
