dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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