haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
