I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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