IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize