Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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