yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
