dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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