We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
