Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
