never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
