I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
