is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize