I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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