he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
