god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
