But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize