I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I smell stomach acid.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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