wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
