My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All the doctor said was why
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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