Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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