Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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