why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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