cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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