Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
