The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
