This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
