i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
